I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
