I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize