he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
