I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
