we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
