I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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