and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
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So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
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my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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