Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
