the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize