Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Randomize
