i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
