I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize