oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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