she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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