i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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