No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
