Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize