Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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