some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize