I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
smell my finger.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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