I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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