hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
