There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
