It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
you traded sex for a burrito?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
