Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
40s are totally the cure
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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