I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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