Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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