just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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