just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
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