another moral hangover. fuck.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
