I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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