Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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