Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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