i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
