marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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