one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive