i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.