Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?

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(810): View more from Michigan

I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?

(989): View more from Michigan

By definition I think it does.

(810): View more from Michigan

So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him

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(313): View more from Michigan

awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(678): View more from Georgia

So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving

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(316): View more from Kansas

i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes

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(813): View more from Florida

God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.

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(408): View more from California

Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?

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