I'm so fucking centered right now
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.