Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.