When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.