Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
babies were throwing up all over the place
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
30+ People Share Their Worst ‘Intimate Experience’ And They’re Traumatizing
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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