I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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