I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
