Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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