Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
50% drunk capacity currently
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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