oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
