After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
