Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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