Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize