Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
