He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
