At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
