Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you never un-have a 4some
You ate ashes out of my bong
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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