im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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