I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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