I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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