My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
