love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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