just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
