Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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