Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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