the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
