Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
