Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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