they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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