He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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