Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
My balls are so social today.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
