the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I party with great urgency now.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
