hotel room ftw
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
