Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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