eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
