also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
